Nothing to say

I agreed to talk at church Sunday morning. In our casual, laid-back lingo you can easily miss the significance of that statement. In my humble little community we sing and pray and praise for about half an hour, then we have breakfast, then Tom talks for twenty minutes or so (usually or so :-).

Except this week it's me. It seemed like a good idea at the time I was asked. Now? Well, you're reading my notes so far.

We're working through Ephesians. In front of me is the latter half of chapter 4.

In The Message Eugene Peterson paraphrases a bit of it this way:

...then take on an entirely new way of life--a God-fashioned life, a life renewed from the inside and working itself into your conduct as God accurately reproduces his character in you.

Hmmm.

If you know me you know that among many things I am consistent. For the most part my strengths of years ago are my strengths today. And for the most part my weaknesses of years ago are still my weaknesses today. Is that evidence of God reproducing his character within me? Is that a life renewed?

I've been in a whiny mood lately. My life is a busy grind. My job feels mundane. My classes feel as if they're only a distraction. My relationships are all neglected because of my job and my classes. And I'm the same person I was two years ago.

I find myself longing for some radical change. I keep joking about running off and joining the military (not that they'd accept me, but still). The prospect of boot camp, of rugged training and transformation, is addictive.

But maybe that's what this stage of life is. Maybe this is my training, my opportunity to find worth, or value, or contentment within the mundane. Maybe the strength I need isn't physical but spiritual.

Maybe I am a different person than I was a year or so ago? Maybe I need to allow myself to be transformed within my given context and not some far-flung fantasy.

But a life fulfilled from the inside...I like that part. Please, God, let it be.