How to Win Friends and Influence People

Why you should keep your mouth shut in class.

A couple of weeks ago my professor assigned us a two-page paper on the proposed Ohio State budget. We were to cover tuition increases, proposed sin taxes, and so forth. One guy piped up.

"Uhh, is that supposed to be single-spaced or double-spaced?"

"Well, there is plenty of discussion about these topics out there right now and they could all affect your daily lives, so I'd say single-spaced" was the instructor's response.

You can imagine how well that went over with my classmates.

So tonight our instructor had just given us a homework assignment and was going over the plan for the next couple of weeks: Chapter 11 next week, Chapter 12 the following.

"Uhhh, do you realize that the week you have us scheduled to cover Chapter 12 we'll be on spring break? Does that mean the test schedule on the syllabus will be moved back a week?"

After consulting a calendar, our instructor's response? "Well, we'll just cover both Chapter 11 and 12 next week. So make sure you've read both chapters before class."

Same guy.

If he raises his hand and says "Uhhh...." at the end of class again I'm pretty sure people nearby will restrain him.