What is my highest priority, again?

I was listening to NPR this morning and there was a segment about how the courts in California have introduced new standard of rape. Basically, if a couple is engaging in consensual sex but then the woman changes her mind it is considered forcible, non-consensual sex if her partner continues after that change of heart is communicated. At that point it become rape.

That's not what I want to write about.

At the end of the segment (which I don't have the transcript of because a) it's not available yet and b) i'm too cheap to buy it anyway) they were interviewing a woman (I believe she was some kind of prosecutor). She was talking about discussing this with her son. Essentially she said she told him
"No means no." Anytime. You need to understand this because protecting yourself is your first priority.

While I agree with the sentiment she was trying to communicate to her son, her final point struck me as a little odd.

Isn't that setting the ethical threshold just a little low?

I'm sure I'm naive, but wouldn't it be just a bit better to communicate to ourselves and our kids that those around us are our highest priority (or at least higher than ourselves)?

If I had a son (and, even more pertinently, if I myself am on a date) I want the woman's interests (even in terms of simply feeling safe and secure before even addressing levels of physical intimacy) to be preserved first and foremost. My own interest or ramifications should be secondary at best.

It seems to me that "what's the right way to treat this person" is a little bit healthier of an attitude than "how do I need to act to ensure I don't face prison time."