Pride goeth before the fall

I was listening to The Dogs on the way in to work, and singing along (per usual) to Diamonds and Coal.

In ways I feel like that's my life story recently....diamonds to coal. And the through miraculous grace that coal gets redeemed, gets put to new and better use. I look at my life in whole and in part and think "it's good." It's been hard, but it's good. Things really do work together.

But then I worry. What can I say, I'm a worrier. Is this newfound renewal just another chain that needs broken? God, I hope not. But, if so, go ahead and do it Lord...

Today feels like a new day. I woke up at 5:30 this morning. And it's not like I went to bed real early last night. I am not a morning person. I tried to will myself to sleep longer. But finally I gave in, turned a light on and cracked my Bible, reading from Sarah's death to just before Jacob's dream. I sat for an hour or so in the presence of Word, in prayer (I suppose, it was ethereal and lacked words). I stumbled to my piano. Can you commune with God over Bach Inventions? I think so.

It was a surreal morning--so unlike me.

I never know how much to write here, but....(cue dramatic organ crescendo)

I had a date last night. And this time, I swore I was keeping my mouth shut. I'd practiced all my stories, converted everything to first person ("I moved to California, I bought a house, I went to Holland"), I was determined to hide this elephant of my past. It's just too big and cumbersome and people always define me by my history. I suppose that's fair enough, but a lot of things have happened to me that I don't think really define me.

But she's sharp, this one....she didn't know it but she trapped me. Before I knew it I was introducing characters and plotlines that I'd hoped to keep buried for chapters.

All's well that ends well, I suppose. She said she'd not been surprised by a story like that in a long time. Well, if you want surprising stories then I'm your man. And she only got the Cliff's Notes version--she has no idea :-)

A story of fall and redemption indeed.

"Is there still redemption for anyone?

Jesus come,
Turn the world around.
Lay my burden down,
Turn this world around.
Bring the whole thing down."

Changes Come, Over the Rhine,